Relationship Revenge
by MentalistSweete
Summary: Things have gone downhill between Jane and Lisbon yet again. This time, each of them has teammed with another pair from the ground floor... as a little revenge plot.
1. Chapter 1

Jane had embarrassed Lisbon to no end then walked away as if it were nothing. The next morning, she paces in the pen long before anyone else arrives. She contemplates a plot to seek revenge upon her consultant. Aggravated, she plops onto his couch in defeat. The next time she opens her eyes, it is from the smell of a freshly made mug of coffee. She smiles with a sigh. She accepts the treat as the portrayer falls beside her.

"Thank you." She smiles, ready to forgive Jane.

"Of course." The man beside her gives her a quick hug. "You seemed all distressed sitting over here by yourself."

Her eyes widen at his voice. She sets the cup on the floor and suddenly leaps to her feet. She swirls around to have a good look at the man. He has flat brunet hair falling on the sides, not wavy blonde hair rising to the sky. He has soft green eyes instead of twinkling baby blue eyes. He is wearing a black t-shirt and faded jeans, unlike the regular ironed three-piece suit. Worn-out tennis shoes with muddy, untied laces. No unattractive brown loafers. This is absolutely _not_ Patrick Jane.

"Who… why… how…" She stutters to form the correct question.

"Andrew Lincoln." He stands to dust himself off. He is only maybe an inch taller than her. "I've already said how distressed you seem… but also beautiful."

"What… I mean, nice to meet you, Andrew. I'm Teresa."

"Serious Crimes Unit, right?" He takes her hand. "Boys in the lobby talk about your team."

"You're on payroll?"

"HP Collaboration. I work with the computers."

"Oh."

"I get your arrest records and warrants up." He informs her, letting go of her hand but still staring in her eyes. "Hmmm…"

"What is it?" She quickly lowers her eyes.

"Could you help play a game against my friend for me? Er, with me?"

"What kind of game?" She asks, eyes eager.

"See, my friend Ashley did something the other day. Got in my laptop so when I turned it on, heavy metal blasted across the floor. Got me in trouble with my boss. So… if Ashley hears about something going on between you and me or hears I am in the arms of a beautiful young agent such as yourself…"

"Ah, a little revenge plot." Lisbon nods knowingly. "On one condition."

"Yes?"

"It's a little revenge on my side, too. With Jane."

Andrew takes Teresa in his arms and the two fall onto Jane's couch.


	2. Chapter 2

-Jane's POV-

It is a little after five am and work doesn't start until seven. It has been an insomniac night, but… when was the last time it wasn't? This is a different reason, though. I feel bad. Yesterday, with Lisbon. I knew I shouldn't have embarrassed her like that. She's very sensitive under that tough exterior. I should make it up to her.

-Ashley's POV-

Ugh. Not even 5:30 in the morning yet but I can't sleep. I can't believe how I ended things with Andy. He's my best friend. Maybe more. Ooh! I gotta go in early and fix something special to come up on his computer when he gets in.

-Jane's POV-

I smell coffee, that's strange. No one is usually here at this hour.

He steps into the pen, looking around, eyes finally focusing on his couch. Lisbon? And, and, who is that?

Lisbon is sleeping on _my_ couch. Wrapped around some _other_ man. Some _stranger_. In a _blanket_. What the hell!? I feel like screaming, like picking the man up by his collar and shoving him through the window.

Whoa. Where did _that_ come from? Okay, okay, calm. She can date who she wants and you don't even know if they _are_ dating. Maybe they were just both at the office late and… but she has her won couch. Rosita. Wait. Did you seriously just take a picture of them on your phone?

He looks around once he stops listening to the voices floating around in his head. Somehow, he is on the bottom floor. Shrugging, he locates the kitchenette and searches for tea. A man is sitting at the table there, typing on a laptop and sipping tea. Without looking up, he speaks up.

"Kettle's keeping warm in the oven. Teacups are over here."

"Uh, thanks. Patrick." I hold my hand out.

"Nelson." He looks up to shake his hand then dives back into his laptop.

I fix myself a cup of tea and sip. It isn't _exactly_ how I like it but it's fine.

-Lisbon's POV-

I wake up and blink. How did i… oh, yeah. Andrew. He likes a girl named Ashley. I squirm a bit and he turns away. Hmm… how are we gonna explain _this_? Some strange guy _I'm_ fake-dating is asleep on _Jane's _couch. What time is it… 6:30. Okay, thirty minutes till people… oh.

Jane and Cho. When Jane's an insomniac, he comes in early. And Cho, he just likes the fresh morning coffee and uninterrupted book reading.

-Ashley's POV-

I got it fixed and ready to go off. I met with someone, sorta. I have my tea and I am ready with Andy's coffee. I am all set. Oh! The janitor is in early. I think his name is Steven.

"Oh, Steven! Hi."

"Uh, Ashley, right?"

"Yeah." I smile crookedly, uneasy about the surprise.

"Nervous about something?"

"Well, I… you wouldn't have happened to see Andrew, would you?"

"Andrew…" He searches for the name. "You mean Agent Lincoln?"

"That's him."

"Yeah, yeah. He's up on the sixth floor asleep."

"Sixth? Asleep? By himself?"

"Asleep, yes. Himself, no. He's with that fine Agent Lisbon." He whistle and walks away with my cart.

Inside, I am fuming. Also, I am curious. I didn't know Steven swung that way. Still, Andrew and I aren't technically a 'couple', but now he's _cheating _on me? I mean, he could have at least _told_ me he had another gag boyfriend. But… isn't his boyfriend, hetero? Doesn't he have a girlfriend that he works with? Oh, someone's coming…

-Andrew's POV-

Okay, so that was pointless. I maybe had a few too maybe drinks after that little mishap with Ash. I love Ashley, never try to do any harm. I should tell Teresa the game is over. She can find some other way to get back at her subordinate. Mmm, I smell coffee. Who could be out this early besides maybe Steve?

-Jane's POV-

So, it's really none of my business. I'm just gonna walk down there and they'll be gone. That man will have disappeared and Teresa will be in her office. She'll pretend to be working and I'll just… Hm. There is no way I am laying on my couch right now. I have no idea what they did… if they did anything. I really don't want to guess, although speculating is all I've been doing since I stupidly took the picture.

I wanted to make things up with Teresa, but maybe the reason she was so beaten up about it is that she really does have a boyfriend. I am so insensitive. Still, back to the pen problem. I can't lay on my couch. I can't sit at my desk, because the team would get too suspicious. Then Teresa would get all flustered and she'd jump to the conclusion that I saw them. But I'd deny it and everything would grow so tense around here. I could go sit on Rosita, but it's impossible for me. Lisbon's couch is in Lisbon's office, and I can't be too near her. I can't call in sick, because I'm never sick.

Okay, when we have cases, things are usually split up me/Lisbon, Cho/Rigsby. I'll trade with Rigsby. I know he feels somewhat uncomfortable alone with her and vice versa. I can tell these things. I used to get paid for it. I'll just go with Cho. Until then, I'll just linger with my tea.

**7:10am**

-Cho's POV-

I can't believe I overslept; my alarm's on the fritz. But I made it. Only ten minutes late. What's this? No one's here. Did we get a case? No one told me… Oh. There's Jane. Just, walking. Boss isn't even in her office. Should I go in there? I could just leave, but… damn. He's spotted me.

He's, different. More different than usual. I've got my coffee and I settle into my desk. He's right there. He just stands behind my chair, kinda wavering. He is upset, that much is obvious. But, when he's upset, he usually makes more of a spectacle. He's probably waiting for Boss. There's no case, so I crack open a book. I hear a voice coming from the hallway. It's Rigsby, talking on his phone. And Jane's moving away.

-Rigsby's POV-

Rachel, the nanny, had just called to let me know Ben's got a fever. Man, I wish I could be there for him. But, like Grace says, it's all in the childhood act. Kids will be kids. Things happen and things like this, they don't need every last spat of attention brought on them.

There is no one here. I mean, Cho's at his desk and Jane is oddly close to me. But no Boss; no Grace. Jane seems a little out of sorts. Probably a Boss thing. It'll all straighten out when she comes in. Till then, it's a bit creepy. Great. First my son is sick, then my strange friend grows even stranger. I wish Boss would- hey. Here comes Boss and Grace.

-Van Pelt's POV-

I had gotten off on a rocky start this morning. I was a little late, but I don't like being late. I step into the elevator… and find Boss! I manage to keep my surprise hidden and she says nothing about my tardiness. Instead, she asks about my family. Strange thing. Like she's keeping some big secret and she's afraid someone will find out. Ooh, I've _got_ to find out! Especially if it has to do with Jane. We'll see how he acts…

-Lisbon's POV-

I walk in late, after planning this elaborate delivery thing with Lincoln. It feels weird to call him Andrew, or even Andy like he wants. Lincoln just helps create a distnce, some boundary. We've got this whole thing, where he 'hires' these 'dancers' that just happen to come out of regular clothes when Bradley reads the note.

Van Pelt meets me in the elevator, seeping with surprise. There's also something playing at her lips, as if she knows about a big surprise. Won't be long until I hear about it. She'll tell Rigsby, who'll in turn tell Cho and Jane. Cho can keep a secret, but I'm not too sure about Jane.

Speak of the devil… he's spending a lot of time around Rigsby. It's kind of bizarre. He's just standing there, in close proximity of him and Van Pelt. They are begging him to leave, with their eyes, but he is doing nothing of the sort. Instead, I think, I think he's glaring at me. It might not be a glare, but he is not too happy to see me. Why? I haven't even done anything yet.

-Jane's POV-

I spot Lisbon walk in with Van Pelt. The latter moves up to Rigs and they really don't want me around. I can tell. Not in their voices, as if either would purposely say something outlandish. But in their actions. The eye turns; the hip swoops; it's all telling me to get lost. I can't. I'm studying Lisbon. I just can't believe it, just some, these things. Things happen, whoever said that. Whoever said the truth will set you free should be shot. And set on fire. And hopefully, that person is the man she was with earlier. That man with her, in here.

"Why don't you go sit on your couch?"

Van Pelt suggests in such a gentle voice. In my head, it is a bleeding fury. My couch. Lisbon, do you hear that? MY COUCH. MINE!

"I have things to do." I grumble as I shove past the happy couple.


End file.
